Often I also feel frustrated of not being able to do much with these degrees. I was not one of those who the government placed in special Merpati flights to study in Indonesia. Nor I was one of those who got into university in Java with full arrangement between PEMDA and University. neither, I was one of those who went to Australia and New Zealand under scholarship with selections in Dili. Upon completion of high school in Malang, returned briefly to Dili but wanted to study further. My brother Salvador handed me Rp. 80,000 then my mother secured additional Rp. 50,000 from my uncle Jacob and the next day I was in Merpati flight to Malang without a road map in 1984. Paid Rp. 75,000 or so for Merpati tickets using student discount to Bali then with night bus to Malang that evening. Initial thought was to Bandung to Universitas Parahyangan because it is Catholic and hope using my Catholicism to convince them to let me in. But at the Terminal I had a second thought. There is a Christian University in Salatiga. so stopped by in a storage place without knowing the area. Met with Pembantu Rektor Akademik John Ihalauw expressing my desire and was allowed to purchase forms to register for testing. Passed Agriculture and Econ Faculties son have to chose. Settled for Economics them the trouble begin. The school asked me to pay sumbangan and tuition fees in the order of million rupias. Look at my wallet it was Rp. 25,000. Then they reduced drastically to Rp. 85,000. Still with no money. What to do? Nobody near to help. Then approached Mr. Ovidio Amaral who was then Ketua IMPTY in Yogyakarta and asked for help. He lent me Rp. 125,000 and rushed back to Salatiga to pay the tuition and the university let me in. After several weeks my friends arrived from Dili on special arrangement with PEMDA, four of them. Was able to get scholarship several months that went on to finish economics degree. Then decided to study further. So went to Jakarta applied for job as young lecturer of economics at Krida Wacana Christian University. The next year also was teaching at Atmajaya Catholic University. While working, again witnessed my colleagues from Dili gained scholarship through selections in Dili to study abroad. What a bad luck for me. After failing several scholarship tests, in 1992 won Fulbright Scholarship to America competing nationally in Indonesia. What a big surprise and self fulfilling effort. Very happy....
Yes, my family or grand family of Nunumalau truly reflect diversity of views. Remember Lobodara's older brother, Manu Leao was killed somewhere in Aileu or Maubisse or Same along with Tio Antonio Metan and Tio Constantino. Then Mana Celeste. I do have another cousin, Carlos F.R. Saky Lopes who is well known figure of RENETIL and currently staying at home now. We value differences so long that it does not get into violence.
Recounting of sufferings, everybody is affected and ours too that stretches back to 1959. Remember Manu Leao's father was killed in 1959 by the Portuguese regime.
Let's start sharing views and who knows this may lead to somewhere useful for the Timorese in Uatu-Lari. A sub-district with so much potential and extra energy of its people. Still they are not able to pull it off. Time will help and new and small steps may be useful. I am happy to discuss with others and please go ahead pass the notes to others. Ani sinti beu mas tenki dala mori na no yabere gi sufa. Hakuak bot. Joao.
Sent from my iPad
On May 24, 2011, at 1:47 PM, Miguel Roksiano Bendito Belo Alves
Thank you very much for this Mr. Joao Saldanha,
I do appreciate with your writing below. Every one in Uatolari is praised Gregorio Basilio. Every one knows that Gregorio Basilio is your family. In my observation (maybe I'm wrong?) Uatolari people perception about Gregorio Basilio and his family is contradictory, Gregorio Basilio name is mentioned sometimes in public gathering in Uatolari to remember him as an high rank level in Falintil or Fretilin, I'm not sure, and sometimes people also mention about his sister who was killed by Milisia Alfa in the way from Lospalos to Baucau. And what I hear from people are talking around that Gregorio Basilio had different idea with his family to free Timor-Leste. You are well known in Timor-Leste and Uatolari people recognized you as a person with high quality and of course Uatolari people is proud of you. Saetiki, yes he is in Uatolari now, due to his Sister Bidolimau was joining Falintil/Fretilin, he was exiled with his family to Atauro, He was unable to go to SMP as SMP was not in Atauro at that time, he was actively involving in Clandestina until Indonesia left. As I said before in my email all people in Uatolari should have family link one another, but why there should be a few disputes? very bad story took place in Uatolari while you were away from Uatolari, if you go around in Uatolari, every family has its own history, some histories are same but some are different. These stories are forwarding from parents to sons and daughters and they are well keeping in each family house who lost one or two of his family members. Then now, what we should do? Writing the story? It is a good idea? I went to talk to some people to set up a Forum, to use Karau Fuik Name, you may also know this history. Drafting of by-law is ongoing. Reconciliation? What I'm thinking of is not the term: Reconciliation/Simu Malu or Nahe Biti Boot, but what I'm concerning is the approach, we are all brothers, good approach will make the ties of brotherhood becomes stronger, bad approach will face challenges. Good approach just needs honest, trust and confidence, a simple person can do it, I think it is also complicated and the process will take time, any way, communication like this and dialog is a good start, I also expect John Miller can help in this issue, but better to communicate in Tetum as most Uatolari People maybe not comfortable with English, I can forward this conversation to any one from Uatolari who cares the issues, we can set the mechanism for this communication and follows the ethics, if our Beihala can do it in their own way with limited resources, why it should be so difficulty for us?
From: Joao M. Saldanha
To: Miguel Roksiano Bendito Belo Alves
Cc: Mauberegimata Nokorau
Sent: Tue, May 24, 2011 4:51:32 PM
Subject: Re: Australian Government's Travel Advisory is scarring off potential tourists to East Timor
Thanks Miguel Alves for your accounts.
Of course, I know him and know him very well. Yes, I know his story and actually stayed with us in Quintal Bot, Dili before I left for Java in August 1981. He stayed with us where head of family were my older brothers Salvador Soares and Jose Sousa. Manu Lucio was also there on the 21 of May remembering my father. As recent as March 30, he was back in Uatu-Lari to give accounts together with others.
Mestri Julio Selok Pires was my teacher in primary school. Of course, I know him to'o and many of these figures that you mention as far as a boy in his 12th and 13th.
If you hold on, I can go over these issues according to my best recollections. I can start from early days in peaceful Uatu-Lari working on rice field in Faetun or cleaning to'os in Fatuboba or taken horses or buffaloes to water in Belia or guiding buffaloes in Nunumalau for pasture.
I can also recount my days in Turisi doing esclarecimento but exposed myself because did not use underwear in front of dozens of people in my tender age of 13. Also can talk about teaching in Deinisi and just recently a former student said Saetiki was in my class. Not sure whether it is true. Also can tell the story of Bautae, the bairi'as of Bautae, reading poesia when Sahe was visiting zona or convivio in Bikalari. I can also tell the story when accompanying my cousin Gregorio Basilio Lobodara to Base somewhere after passing Buibela, do not remember correctly. I also know the DKs and the Kilobravos like Sandoc, Balek, Badlau, Loisiba and Mausiba. Not sure whether Mausiba was DK. Oh yes, I know comandante Rubileki to'o, Adjunto Solan. of course, they don't know me because I was just a kid.
Then guess what? Xanana Gusmao, one day he appeared in Uaibuileki with his escolto not sure for what but later I learned that he was interested in Lobodara's books on Marxism. My parents where hiding the books. But they took out the books and put on a table and Xanana started to go over them. The books included O Grou Amarelo talking about Yanzte River in China by Mao Tze Tung. The next day he left. Then probably he came back one more time for the books. But later I heard that Loisiba was mad because Xanana was visiting and wanted to date Prima Amelia.... They actually confronted in base up there on Matebian.
You maybe also interested in the stories of recua to Matebian, through Laluwou, Buibela, Suliana, Cailelete, then famous Waibuitai story of bombardments. Final act of Matebian was going down to surrender through Osohuna, I guess then to Uatucarbau. By the way, I kept my diaries in small blue book given by Lobodara sometime before. But it was confiscated in Uatucarbau. Then moved on to Uatu-Lari. Then to Dili joining my brothers to study. In 1980 went to Baucau to look for study. Only a year with Pe Magalhaes and Mestri Joao Boavida. Then back to Dili before winning a scholarship study animal husbandry in Malang starting August 1981.
My disappointment is that I do not know much the period between 1979 and 1981 back in Uatu-Lari because of communications, security and transport. But I urge you to do the story so that we can complement. I will also start asking people about these episodes which very clouded and need to sort out so that we all can go to the bottom.
Then we should ask John Miller the moderator of ETAN List whether he is okey doing this here in this forum. I prefer writing here instead of somewhere else.
Thank you and will keep reading your postings. Cheers. Joao.
Sent from my iPad
On May 24, 2011, at 9:04 AM, Miguel Roksiano Bendito Belo Alves
I do agree with Maubergimata,
Has some one heard people killing in Uatolari after 1999, I guess not? But how about before 1999, particularly in 1980s, a massacre did took place in Uatolari Tuan and around, the Indonesian cronies who were involving in the killing, most of them are still in Indonesia and few came back to Timor-Leste, Mr. Saldanha may know a little about this and Mr. Lucio (known as Mestre Lucio) who survived from the killing and supposed to still have family relationship with Mr. Saldanha (Mr. Lucio's wife has close family relationship with Mr. Saldanha) has raised his witness in some occasions including before CAVR audience by saying (I wish I could remember Mr. Lucio's word clearly), "Indonesian army (TNI) doesn't recognize us, Timorese himself who begs for the killing, some of them are my wife's family), I escaped from the killing and hide in a hill near to Uatolari Tuan, I sent a letter to my wife, my wife was aware of the danger I was in, I may get recapture, my wife sent me a Guia de Marcha which already signed by Indonesian Authority, it helped me traveled along the jungle to Baucau, they knew I was in Baucau, they (Timorese, and they speak Nauhety, so they are Nauhety, what is a little bit common in Uatolari, to call you are Makasae or Nauhety ) went to case me in Baucau, I was lucky and escaped from the hunting to Dili and to Maubesi, where I'm from, Thanks to the Lord, He saved me, the only person to tell the story, I know my witness is not good for my wife's family, but I should tell the story because I know God leads me to do so" and most the victims are from Makadiki (which Mr. Saldanha mentioned in his writing), Matahoi, Uaitame and a few from Nauheti speaking, let's say Julio Mauselok who was a friend and a family to the killing master mind, The killing began with Liurai (Makadiki, Joao Menezes (poisoned), Matahoi Leader (Liurai Family) Matahoi, Sebastiao Alves, shot and to more hundreds of people, some was shot to death, tortured to death, and much more children and women were death due to food scarcity and hygiene challenges, ICRC activists and Avo Katekista Tuan Mateus Da Silva must record in his diary.
Thanks for reading my story, who ever cares this story, not even Xanana, though when these guys took the victims' belonging such as animals and Natar (rice field which also mentioned in Mr. Saldanha writing as a dispute case), nu'u, and saying, I'm taking yours from you, now Xanana is governing lekirauk (monkeys) in the jungle, once Xanana be back and in power we will return yours, but what Xanana is doing? when a person (still a live), Indonesian forces amputated one of his arms, Xanana said to him, once I go to the town, I'll cut their arm and will bring to replace yours, Xanana: once we get independence, if I eat stone you will eat stone as well, but if I eat bread you will join me. That's life, everything is changing, in his second visit to Uatolari, Xanana brought Jacinto Osokaiwa (one of the Uatolari Master Mind) and saying to victims and victims family, "no need to keep revenge, development can only be done if there is a reconciliation". The government Authority came to Uatolari for reconciliation dialog and begin his briefing by saying "I came along the road, it is such very bad road condition, why such condition still happen because you are not calm down and focusing on the development" and suddenly one ordinary community member raised his hand up and interrupting the brief by saying "ok, I understand, how about Ossu, Lakluta, there is no problem, but why you don't do anything to fix the road, what we need is "JUSTICE" here we get in touch like family, one from Nauheti may already marry to one of my family member, we have lian feto San Umane" what we want is where those people have been killed? and where they have been buried? I need just a simple thing like Tais, instead of providing me a Tais you brought to me a car, I never learn to drive a car and how you push me to do this thing and to follow everything you want"
Every body... that is my description about Uatolari, hope you get the truth, you may want to spent some of your times to talk with Mestre Lucio or person alike to know what is true and what totally misleading.
Obrigadu Barak ba Ita nian tempu hodi le'e.